In the therapy room, I often find myself interested in the stories people carry about themselves. Each of us has stories we’ve been handed by our family, culture, faith, and other formative experiences, and these stories have the power to shape our identity and the possibilities we imagine for our lives. Sometimes, especially during seasons of anxiety or significant change, we start to notice that an old story no longer fits.
I know something about this from my own experience growing up in an evangelical faith tradition with a creation story that included a strong emphasis on sin. As a rule-following good girl who tended to accommodate and serve others, I spent a lot of time listening for what I was supposed to do and noticing where I thought I fell short. But as I’ve reflected over the years, and especially more recently, I’m aware of another creation story that was there, too—a story of earth and goodness, of being born of the divine and sharing responsibility for caring for the collective. Returning to that story has changed something about how I understand myself and how I can live.
Part of the work of therapy is learning how to see the stories that have shaped us without assuming that we have to live forever inside them. One option is to become curious about what we inherited, and begin to contemplate the answers to questions like: What did our stories emphasize? What did they overlook? What possibilities did they create? We can also work from a somatic perspective and pay attention to what happens in our bodies and our ways of moving through the world in connection with our stories.
For me, revisiting my creation stories has been a way to return to something I lost sight of but was present from the beginning—the possibility that I am a good part of a good creation, connected to the earth, other people, and the divine—and I offer it as an example of what can happen when we look at a given story with enough distance and curiosity to see it more clearly. Sometimes in or alongside a story that has been limiting, there are seeds of something life-giving.
I wonder for you: What stories are you carrying about your own beginnings? What have they taught you about who you are and what’s possible in your world? What might shift if you got curious how they serve the you you are becoming?
I wrote more about my own experience in this week’s A(t)tending to Wonder field note.
If you’re curious about counseling, I’d be honored to connect with you. I work with women who feel overwhelmed and off-balance, offering a compassionate, steady presence and joining as a collaborator to help you stay with what’s emerging in the moment and get curious about the deeper layers of your experience. Together, we experiment with small, meaningful changes that lead to different ways of being and moving through the world. My specialties include anxiety therapy, midlife growth and empowerment, and young adults and college/graduate students. You can contact me here.
Note: This blog is for educational and reflective purposes and does not constitute psychotherapy.